USS NiTRO - SVAM Edition MSTing #1 "The Burned Fur Manifesto" by Scree Rat. MSTied by David Gonterman (In his MSTing debut!) and Trey Tackett Edited by Trey Tackett Host segments written by Trey Tackett with additions by David Gonterman. Special thanks to Alicia Ashby for the encouragement to refine this MSTing and send it to SVAM. Under no circumstance is this to be meta-mstied. Thank you. What follows is a SVAM edition of a MSTing done in the USS NiTRO series. It is VASTLY different from the original series. You can find the original series at Foxfire Studios. Copyrights and such follow at the end. NOTE: Though this manifesto may be a bit cheesy, the actual "Burned Fur" group makes valid points. You can find a link to their site at Foxfire studios. ( Foxfire.thewebunion.com ) This MSTing is in no way intended to flame, bash, or abuse its author, Scree Rat. It is merely a MSTing and nothing more. Please do not take any offense. __________________________________________________________________________ Static. That's all Trey Tackett could get on the video monitor. No matter how many times he tried to fix it, it wouldn't work. It wasn't just that either. The whole communications station didn't function. Without that, he and the others had no way of sending out a distress signal to Earth. "Any luck?" David Gonterman asked as he walked onto the bridge. Trey shook his head. "None." Stephanie McMahon looked at the digital clock on the wall. "Wuh oh. Trey, hide the tools! He's about to call!" Trey nodded and began putting the tools away. Seconds later, a red light on the wall began flashing. Trey reached up and activated the view screen. The viewscreen came on, showing the smiling face of Shane McMahon. "Ah, hello Steph. How goes things in space?" Stephanie glared at her brother. "I'd rather be back on Earth." Shane shook his head. "Now now, sis, you know I'm only keeping you up there to protect you from that jerk Test." "He's not a jerk!" Stephanie said angrily. Shane shrugged. "Whatever. Besides, if you'd agree to dump him and go back to Joey Abs, then I'd let you come back." "Um... then why are we here?" Trey asked, interrupting Shane. Shane glared at Trey and David. "Because you two wrote that NiTRO fic thing and used the McMahons in it without ANY prior permission! You really think I'd have helped you all? HA! Don't make me laugh." David rolled his eyes and flipped the bird at Shane. "All you do is talk, Shane." "Oh ho! Getting an attitude are we?" Shane said in an annoyed tone. "Well then, why don't we just get on with this weeks fic?" Stephanie interrupted her brother. "Hey Shane, if you care Soooo much for me," she began with much sarcasm, "why are you making me read these horrid stories?" "Oh come on, Steph," Shane started. "It's not like I'm making you read lemons. Anyway, this week's fic is called 'The Burned Fur Manifesto'. Its all about the degeneration of the furry community and the garbage it's taken on in the past few years." "Whoopie...." Trey said blandly. Shane ignored the comment. "Enjoy!" He pushed a button and sent the fic to the ship. Aboard the USS NiTRO, the 'movie sign' alarms began to blare. "We got rant siiiiiiign!!" Trey yelled as the theater hall door opened. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Door sequence: The doors from the MST3k movie) (The trio enters the theater. Trey sits in Tom Servo's seat, Stephanie sits in Mike's, and David sits in Crow's.) >>>THIS SORRID LITTLE BUSINESS: Trey: Is making me millions! David: I hope she put that page through the Spell Checker. I usually get Business misspelled. Stephanie: Along with Goldberg's name. David(Annoyed): Oh, hush. >>>One very embarrassed "furry fan" has a go David: And collect 200 dollars. >>> at defining "furry." David: Furry: Adv. Containing Fur. >>>I remember when being a pervert was a bad thing. Trey: Memories....... David: Oh, oooooh, this is beginning like a bad Dustin Runnels speech. >>>If you were warped, you tried to hide it, and good for you if you did. Trey: Bully for you, ol chap! David: Unless of course, you webcast it. >>If you were going to polish your rod to autopsy photos. . . Trey: Which is what Scully thinks Mulder does when she's not looking. Stephanie: No, I don't think this is becoming a Dustin Runnels speech. >>or bugger a Shetland pony Stephanie(Mr. Ed): Hiya Wilber. David: So *that's* how Val Venis got his vasectomy. >>you did it in the privacy of your own sick, sad home. David (Sings): Home, Home on the Range. Where the deer and the pervert . . .I think I should shut up. >>>No one else, especially not me, had to know, and that was great. Trey(Writer): Was it good for you? David(Mr. Ed): Let's do it again Wilber! >>The best part was, if you decided to crawl out on the roof and inform Stephanie: That you can PROVE Megane 6.7 is actually a clone. >>the neighborhood via midnight megaphone that being urinated on got you >> hot. . . Trey: Um.... ew... Stephanie: Talk about ways of getting a rash. >>>you would be told, in no uncertain terms, how very diseased you were. David: Not to mention sick and perverted. Stephanie: And that you were gonna be given a show on FOX >>Most people I know don't have too much trouble distinguishing between >>a "lifestyle choice" and a "warning sign." David: DANGER! Wierdos ahead! Trey(Robot): WARNING! WARNING! Stephanie(Dodging Trey's flailing arms): Ow! Hey! Watch it! >>Yep, in many parts of the world, the idea of making love to Andy Panda >>is still regarded as somewhat misguided. Stephanie: Yet people say they enjoy it and Andy doesn't call out other people's names. >>Most parts, that is, except "Furry Fandom." Trey(Lion-o from ThunderCats)FURRY FANDOM! HOOOOOOOOOOOOO! >>I don't know what the hell happened here. David: Neither do I, but I'm afraid that you are going to tell us. >>"Live and Let Live" is an excellent, tree-hugging philosophy . . . Stephanie: You do allot of that, don't you? Trey: Probably tries to find a hole in the tree....... David: And then write a page against people poking Grunds. >>but it doesn't do much when the ones you refuse to kill are dragging >>you down with them. David: I.E., Vince McMahon. Trey(Singing): All your metal armor drags me down! >>If you like animal-based stories, cartoons, or art, you're a furry. Trey: Really? (Starts checking his arms) Where's my fur? David: Well that means me, what about you two? Stephanie: What have I gotten myself into? David(To Stephanie): Welcome to the funny farm. >>And like it or not, "Furry" means "Pervert." David: GACK!! (Anime Sweats) Trey: I..... Dang..... >>>This didn't come out of nowhere, either. Trey(Writer): They came from a land where gnomes steal underpants. >>To me, and a lot of other people, "Furry" simply means Stephanie: the secret word of the day. >>a fondness for animal-human combinations in art, movies, books... >>whatever. David: This definition was next on the definitions on that dictionary I consulted earlier. >>>If you're biased towards Redwall novels, Trey:Eh, give me Marc Cerassni's Godzilla novels anyday. >> have a soft spot for Anime "cat girls," Stephanie: Guess Alicia "Lynxara" Ashby falls in this category. >>or can't drag yourself away from "The Secret of NIMH," David: (Bows head) Guilty. Trey *looks at David and points* (Nelson): HAHA! >>chances are excellent that you're at least *slightly* fur-inclined. David: To a probability of 99.98 percent. Trey(Kirk): Never tell me the odds! >>>That's pretty cool by me. >>>The Simple Definition is probably what started "furry fandom" in the >>>first place. Trey: Either that or someone created a website about it. >>>But you would NOT believe Stephanie: ...The price they charge for a cup of coffee these days. >> some of the baggage the term "furry" has taken >> on. Stephanie: Can't be worse than Goldust's dressing room.... David: (Han Solo) I don't know, I can imagine a lot. >>>The most obvious one so far would be suspicions of bestiality. David: Did you see *that* in Goldust's dressing room, Stephanie? Stephanie: Fortunately, no. Trey(Master from Road Rovers)Your GOOD DOGS. You're GOOD-GOOD DOGS! >>>>This wouldn't a problem if the furs that did it weren't so damn proud >>of it. Stephanie: And then, Oscar was born. >>>For those of you that were out sick that day in Sex Ed class, Stephanie: Here's a condom. David: Listen up, Val: >> [In Bold]DON'T FUCK YOUR PETS. Trey: Don't expose them to light. Stephanie: Don't spill water on them. David: And above all else, Don't feed them after Midnight!! >>>Raping Fido is a 100% BAD IDEA. Trey: And 100% guaranteed to be in the next Val Venis promo. Stephanie(Sarcastic): Thanks for that lovely thought. David(Blitz from Road Rovers): Hellloooo, Ladies . . . >>>You're making us all look >> bad, Goddamn it. David: Oh great, the writer turned into a South Park character. >>Do you know what all the other fandoms.. Trekkies, X-Philes, >> Lovecrafters... call Furries? Trey: The future of america? David: Imature? Stephanie: Losers? >>>SKUNK-FUCKERS. (All three Anime Sweat) Stephanie: Whoah......... Trey: Excuse me....I'm gonna go barf now....... David: Go barf on *them*, Trey. >>>And we have >>> these morons to thank for it. Stephanie: I seriously doubt anyone but Penelope is boinking Pepe LePew. Trey: Pepe just be pimping that cat, man! >>>"Zoophile" is a cute way of saying Stephanie: Eric Bischoff. >>>"I violate animals for sexual gratification." Stephanie: That's Oscar allright >>Period. David: Exclamation point. >> It's not okay, Trey: Being green...... >>>It never was okay . . . Stephanie: Being with Madonna. >>>and declaring yourself "furry" doesn't give you the right to insist >>that any level of beastiality is a part of the "furry experience." Trey: A new ride a EuroDisney. David: I'm glad you mentioned Disney . . . >>Getting your rocks off >> on lower orders of the animal kingdom is bad >>enough without your partner being licensed by Disney David: . . . . Because I can hear that Shuttle loaded with Lawyers being launched right now. Trey *jaw drops*: So THAT'S where Nala came from. >>>Yes indeedy, >>> as we descend just a step deeper into Hell David (Writer): You'll find me with the Horns and the Pitchfork. >>>we stumble across the path of the Plushophile. David: The writer says it like we're on Animal Planet. Trey(Guide): To your left you'll see the ever-elusive Blue Raccoon plushie. >>>That's shorthand for "I find this Meeko doll intensely erotic." *Trey gets up and runs off. We hear puking noises* David: (Checks his watch) I won the bet, Steph. Stephanie: Dangit... *Trey comes back moments later* David: This never happens to Mike and the Bots, folks. >>>These are the people who use FAO Schwartz as a singles bar. David: Hey, I didn't know that place served beer. Trey(writer): So, Beanie Baby. You come here often? >>>I don't know >>who decided that this was a valid excuse for a sex >>life . . . . Stephanie: Probably some kid obsessed with white cats. >> but he probably still lives in his mother's basement. David: Oh great, now we have Adam Sandler with those lawyers. >>>>You don't have to earn a degree in psychology Stephanie: Goldberg did. David (Face Faults): A Brain Shrink who's methods include the Spear and Jackhammer? Oy Flipping Vey! >>>to figure out >>> how thickly laden with sexual dysfunction the very >>>concept of Plushophilia is. Stephanie(Writer): Let's start with those Lion King fans.... Trey(Glaring at Stephanie): Don't even go there.... >>>How badly was >> your id stomped on to get you to the point Trey: Where you couldn't use it in the lunch line at school? >>>where you would consider wanking a child's toy? Trey(Crazy old man): Beware the Nalaholics! >>>I'm not sure I want to know. David: Good, The Writer won't tell us then. Stephanie: Watch, she will. David: I can dream, can't I? >>>But I *DO* know >> Plushophiles have latched onto Furriness like a swamp >>leech. Trey(Jim Ross): MAH GAWD! HE'S DRAINING HIS BLOOD! David: Should have never gotten those leeches from Gangrel! Stephanie: Luna's husband? David: (Anime Sweats) >>>When people call furries >> "perverts," THIS is the kind of crap they're >>talking about. David: Not *that* crap, *this* crap! Trey: See? It's marked right here on the under side. >>>Sigh... moving on. >>>>Down, down, down we go... David(Scientist): ... Down, down, down into the Earth. >>>oh, look, the Seventh Level of Furry Hell. Trey: LOOK! There's A hidden Mickey! David: Hey, it's Al Simmons. Stephanie(Elevator attendant): Next stop, 7th level of hell: underwear, pitchforks, lawyers, and the Pokemon Match Losers. Going down. >>>Furry Lifestylers. Glee. Trey(Ash's Pokedex): Glee. A rare form of whining pokemon. Avoid at all costs. >>>We've got us some self-righteous little pokers down here. Trey(Writer): HEY! Watch it with that thing? Or at least aim right. Stephanie: Now I think I'M gonna be sick. >>Ya see, Trey(Val Venis): The Big Valbowski is allot like.... Pikachu. Stephanie(Head in hands; disturbed): Oh god... here comes my lunch... >>> just drawing cartoon animals or enjoying "Watership Down" >>doesn't make you furry. David(Writer): You have to pay your membership fees first. >>>>>Nooooo, you're not GOOD enough. Stephanie: Obviously Dad helped edit this..... >>>You're not furry if it's just a hobby. David: Then what constitutes a furry hobby, then? Stephanie: Being a mouse in a man's body. David: (Blushes beet red, remembering 2-3 years of High School life he wasted) >>If you don't think >> you're the astrally projected soul of a wolf Stephanie and Trey: WOLF-O-RINE! WOLF-O-RINE! (David is still blushing) >>trapped in a human body, Trey(Wolf): Help, I'm stuck in here! Stephanie: Did I call that or what? David: (Recovering) You earned your wager back, my friend. >>>or you don't answer the phone with a "meow," Trey: Oh! She's accidentally been dialing the Team Rocket hotline. >>>you're not furry. David:Are you sure? Maybe it just hasn't grown in yet. >>Yep. Stephanie(Writer): You're a total loser. >>Don't you feel terribly inferior now? Stephanie: Not really. >>>Christ on a fire engine, Trey (Looking around): WHERE?! >>>what some people will try and force on you. David(Bischoff): You're gonna watch Master P, and damnit, you'll like it! >>>I've always found the fact that 90% of Lifestylers consider themselves David: Mentally Ill? Trey: to be fans of Hanson? Stephanie: Fans for my dad? >>>misplaced foxes, wolves, dragons, lions, tigers, or something >> equally powerful and noble, David: Oh. That means that Dung Beetle is out. Stephanie: Lions and tigers, and something equally powerful and noble!. Trey: Oh my! >>>open to a special brand of mockery. Trey: *POP* Stephanie: KEGGER! David: WHOOOOOOOOOO! >>Amazing coincidence how fantastically superior they all were in their >> animal lives, isn't it? David: As if being human kinda sucks, don't it. >>>Maybe if I occasionally came across a Lifestyler who claimed to be David: A pet rock? Stephanie: In Chyna? Trey: NWO Hollywood 4 Life? >>>a reborn cockroach, David: We're talking about some very 'Bad Mojo' right here. >>I wouldn't be so cynical. Trey(Writer): I'll leave that to Daria. >>>I'm sure Freud would have a great, detailed explanation David: As to why I'm missing my fur? Stephanie: Hopefully to explain why Trey's obsessed with Skunkettes. Trey: WHAT?! They look cute ok?! Sheesh, it's not like I'm doing anything the writer's talking about! >>as to why people build up fantasy worlds for themselves like this, Trey: Maybe they're victims of child abuse and it's the only thing keeping them alive. David: Tell me about it. (Blushes again) Next big city we reach, yer refilling your prescription, Trey! >>>but I'm content to call these types Crackpots. Trey: I call them ECW workers. >>>Slightly less obstinate but equally buttock-chafing David: Is Hulk Hogan's Presidential Nomination. >>are the the random groups who try their damndest to Trey: Figure out just why Tony is still on Nitro every Monday. >>>Super-glue a witch's brew of David: I'd like to see them actually try super-gluing witch's brew. Stephanie: Watch Hogan try it. David (Makes a cross out of two fingers) I don't wanna. >>>lycanthropy, shamanism, and veganism to a once-enjoyable subculture. Trey(thick accent): Paul, you is a whare-woof. >>Don't misunderstand me; Werewolves are fun. Stephanie(Writer): They keep me up all night heh heh. >>Roll-playing a werewolf? Knock yourself out. Stephanie: How about we knock out Trey? Trey: HEY! >>>Drawing werewolves? E-mail me some pointers, I can't do 'em to save my >>life. Trey: Send me a few to while you're at it. David: That's right, Writer, you can't get enough training in your drawing style. >>Claiming to BE a werewolf? David: Yes? >>>SEEK HELP. Trey(Exile): Please consider therapy..... David: I know that nice shrink that Michael Landon once sought. >>>You're not a werewolf. Trey: You're a were-pup. >>>> [In Bold and a notch larger] THERE ARE NO WEREWOLVES. David: You're just stuck in your costume. >>>Anyone who claims to turn into a giant dog at the whim of a celestial >>body should Trey(Writer): Come over and see me sometime. Stephanie: Find a hydrant, QUICK David: Let go of that Power Ring. NOW!! >>>be mercilessly ostracized and laughed at with maximum cruelty. Stephanie: OSTROBOT! OSTRACIZE! *Trey makes transforming sounds* David: (Optimus Prime) Pompous. . . . Hey!! (Suddenly, Netscape Crashes. An Internet Equivalent of a Film Break.) Trey: Hey! GPF! All right! Stephanie: Let's get outta here! David: Just when it's getting good too. (The group gets up and leaves the theater) (Reverse door sequence) ----------------------------------------------------------------- David and Stephanie walked back onto the bridge, only to find Trey flipping through the channels on TV. "What are you looking for?" David asked. "Oh, part of that post reminded me of a show I saw on here a while back. As you know, we get GREAT reception up here from just about anywhere in the multiverse!" Trey replied. He stopped changing channels when he came to what looked to be Monday Night Raw. The only difference was that the logo in the bottom corner of the screen read "FWF" instead of "WWF". "What's this?" Stephanie asked. "The Furry Wrestling Federation. A another universe's version of the WWF," Trey said. He quieted down as the Godfather's music cued up. "A furry Godfather... do I even wanna see this?" David asked, unsure. The trio blinked as Pepe LePew, dressed up in the Godfather's ring attire (Cane and all), walked out on the entry ramp. Behind him, was Penelope Cat (Without the usual painted stripe on her back), and 3 more furry fems. The furs made their way to the ring, where Pepe grabbed the mic. "Bonjour, gentlemen and ladies! It is I, Ze Skunkfather!" Pepe began in his familiar french accent. "What do you think of Ze fine, fine, ladies I have with moi tonight?" Loud cheers came from the crowd. Penelope giggled and wrapped her arms around Pepe. Pepe smiled back at the black cat and then looked back to the crowd. "Now, all of you know that ze Skunkfather is pimping ze furs nation wide. So reach down, light it up, and let moi hear you say 'Pimping Ain't Easy'!" The crowd responded with a loud "Pimping ain't easy" yell. "Ok...." Stephanie began, still watching the tv. "This is just odd....." "This has to be the weirdest thing I've ever seen," David stated. "Think that's weird?" Trey asked. "They got the coyote as Mick Foley." Before David or Stephanie could respond, the lights and alarms once more activated. "Uh, we'll continue this later," David said. "We got Rant sign again!" ----------------------------------------------------------------- (Door sequence) (The trio walks back into the theater and takes their seats) >>>Then there's the matter of Spirit Animals. Stephanie(Announcer): We've secretly switched his normal spirits, with new ANIMAL Spirts. Let's see if they can tell the difference. >>>I don't have one. I don't want one, I don't need one. David: Your loss. Mine chose me, not the other way around. So there :P >>>And according to some, that disqualifies me as a furry. David: Hmm, guess Mills Lane wouldn't allow that one. >>>Gee, didn't realize I had to realign my entire belief system to ensure >>> acceptance into an already-decrepit fanbase. Trey:But of course, I should have know Pinky and the Brain had a strict fan club..... David: Zort >>>Once again, the question of Stephanie:Red or Blue Pokemon game pack? >> personal tastes intruding on a >>>once-meaningful practice comes to mind. Trey(Writer):So does Peanut Butter. >>>You'll find a good thousand spastics claiming the protection of the Fox, David: Especially when he was the Drummer in KISS one time. >>>>But I've yet to hear a furry fan thank the Earwig Spirit for his wisdom. Stephanie(Sarcastic): Cause we all know Earwigs are the smartest beings on earth. >>>>Yes, I'm taunting you. Cope. David: Eh, yer Number One too. :P Trey:Now, Now, name calling isn't nice. >>>And YES, >>> there's even a special breed of >>> nutboys out there who insist >>>a major component of Furriness is the practicing of Veganism. Trey: Is that anything like VEGETAism? Stephanie: Eat a Seiyin? I don't wanna . . . David: Which is very stupid, because we all know, Foxes and Coyotes are omnivores. >>>For those of you who don't live in California, David: Yes? Trey(Writer): Here's a big Californie welcome! *Trey flips the bird at the screen* >>>that's the total shunning of all animal products. Trey: Like the losers who try'd to boycott the Weenie mobile....... David: And the product animals make are *supposed* to be shunned. Stephanie(Buyer): Ooo, fresh dung for 99 cents. >>>No eggs, no leather, no beef, no fish, no clubbing baby seals until >>>their skulls are soft and dough-like. Trey(Singing): No phone no light no motorcars! Not a single luxury! Stephanie: Like robinson caruso! ALL: As primitive as can be! >>>For reasons beyond my comprehension, >>>THIS sort of self-denial is >>>supposed to put you "more in touch with your furriness." David: Can we say, 'It does not compute?' >>>God knows how. David: And even *He* would have problems. >>> I've never seen a pride of lions abandon a mule carcass to chase >>>down a fleeing herd of Garden Burgers. David: Simba and Kimba would *never* stoop that low. >>>Animals have a strange way of mutilating OTHER animals. Trey(Johnny Gomez): Scar vs. Mufasa. Tonight on CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH! David: Five bucks say that Mufasa calls a run in by Simba, Nala, their kid, and their kid's wild boyfriend. >>> That's nature, welcome to it. Trey(Guide): Parking's in the back. Will you be staying over night? >>>And there's nothing more >>> furry and natural than gnawing some flesh, >>>kids. Trey: Mmmmmm, nummy. David: You got that right. Them's good eating. Stephanie: Deer meat. Try it sometime. David: Austin certainly did. >>Human beings are omnivorous, and that means meat. Trey: And plants. >>>If you don't believe me, Stephanie(Writer): I GOT TWO WOOOOOORDS FOR YA! >> fetch yourself a mirror and smile. All: Smile so widely, it's almost silly. Stephanie(Writer): Cause you're capable of better things. >>>See those pointy things? Trey: They're called..... *Stephanie clamps Trey's mouth shut* David: HA! >>>Canines. Trey: TO THE POWER OF THE PACK! All:AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! >>>>So enough with the tofu and bean sprouts, Stephanie(Writer): Wait, we were talking about hidden players in Resident Evil 2? >>> your Spirit Animals are >>>laughing at you. Trey: Because you made a good funny. David: Would that be 'at' or 'with?' >>>>>And finally, we confront the long-held notion Trey: That Optimus in BW2 is the real one. Stephanie: I say he isn't. Trey: IS! David: But that was definitely his spark in Primus' guts one time. >>>that Furries secretly wish they WERE animals. Trey: Who hasn't at some point in their life? >>>I'm sure there are some that do, but they're in the minority. Stephanie: So everyone who uses their imagination is evil? David: Along with the Skunk-fuckers and the Beenie Baby-pokers. >>>Trust me, I'm rather fond of being a homo sapien. Stephanie: Me to! David: Same here, thank you so much. >>>I've grown quite attached to the idea of David: (Dennis Leary) Coffee flavored coffee and beer flavored beer. Trey(Dennis Leary): Sucking my dinner through straws. >>>opposable thumbs, Trey: Mosh pits >>full-color vision, David: Beer >> and the dawning of self-awareness. Stephanie: The dawning of self-awareness.... Ah, I remember when those were fun to watch... Stupid smog clouds. >>>Space travel, Chinese food, swing dancing... Trey: Big Macs drowned in lettuce... oh wait, that's not always a good thing. >>>the perks ain't bad, either. Stephanie: Unless of course, you work in WCW. >>>No, I'm holding my own on this end of the evolutionary ladder, thank you. Stephanie: Do we really know we're the smartest creatures on Earth? David: Because I know some rats who'd like to differ. >>>Most furries are. Stephanie(Writer): My love childs. >>>But for the poor shmucks who want nothing more than to >>transform into >>>an elk or bear or something equally ridiculous, David: Like a member of nWo Hollywood. >>>a stay in an institution, not a fandom, is in order. David: And I know a good institute they can go to. Those rats I told you about. Those scientists made them so smart that they broke out. >>>Whew. I think I'm done for now. Trey:HUZZAH! >>>Any survivors, Alpha Team? David: No, but there are some members of Beta and Gamma that are still up. Stephanie(Alpha): AYE YI YI! >>>Heh. If you've actually read this far, David(Writer):You obviously have to much free time. >>> I must say I'm impressed. Trey(Writer): Wow, spell checking DOES work. >>>If I made you mad, good. Stephanie: Well, we got two words for ya! All(Dx chopping): SUCK IT! (The X Fireworks shoot off from behind them.) >>>If you agree with me, All:We don't! >>> even better. Either way, I want to hear from you. Trey(Caesar): LEND ME YOUR EARS! Stephanie: Here's Mankind's Trey: *Turns green* David: Are you sure that's Mankind's? That looks more like Dude Love's or Cactus Jack's. Stephanie: Same thing. >>> Let me know what you think. Trey(Picard): Ready the e-mail torpedo. David(Officer): Aye, captain! >>>Any and all mail recieved David(Writer):Will be shoved up my ovipositor. >>> may be posted and/or responded to at my >>>discretion. >>>>(Miscellaneous Links at the bottom, including links on continuing >>>>texts . . . . ) (The trio get up to leave as the Rant ends) Trey: And I thought you were a bit loony at times, Davie-boy. David: Bite me. I'm no where near your levels of insanity. Stephanie: He's got a point there. Trey: Bite me. (Reverse Door Sequence) __________________________________________________________________________ "AHA! Here it is!" Trey yelled as he pulled a videocassette from the shelf. "Great!" David said as he looked out from beneath the communications console. "Bring it here!" "What are you two doing?" Stephanie asked, curious. "We think we can retrace the signal of Shane's transmission back to it's source, and then maybe send a signal of our own to it," Trey said. "If we can even get this stupid communications station working, that is," David said as he continued to mess with the wiring inside the console. Suddenly, the console lit up as it's systems finally activated. "All right! We're in business!" David said as he pulled himself out from the inside of the console. He began typing something in on the keyboard. The words "Signal found" appeared on the monitor. He grinned and turned to Trey. "Go for it." Trey grinned and let out a mock-evil laugh as he stuck the video tape into a opening on the console. He then looked back to David and nodded. David cracked his knuckles and once more began typing on the keyboard. "Now all we gotta do is wait," he said as he hit the enter key. Shane looked at this watch. Steph and those two writers should be about done with the fic by now. He looked back at the tv just in time to see it change to show a replay of the final moments in his match against Test at the 1999 Summerslam. "What the?" He tried to change the channel, but the remote didn't seem to work. He furrowed his brow in confusion and then realized what was going on. "3, 2, 1," Trey counted down. As he reached one, the 'incoming transmission' light began to flash. Trey reached over and activated the view screen. "Very funny," an angry Shane McMahon said. "Now turn that off." "Awww, don't ya wanna see how the match ends?" David said sarcastically. "Shut up and turn off that transmission, NOW!" Shane ordered. "What was that?" Stephanie asked, faking she couldn't hear her brother. "Your message is breaking up." "You can hear me, and you know it!" Shane said. "That much wasn't fair. If Test hadn't so viscously attacked me and the Mean Street Posse, I would have won!" As if on cue, the front door of the house was kicked in. Shane yelped in surprise and turned to see a very P.O.ed looking Test standing in the doorway. On the ship, Trey and David tried to calm down Stephanie, who had immediately began marking out for her boyfriend/future fiancee. She cheered as Test began punching Shane in the face repeatedly. "WHERE IS SHE?!?!" Test yelled in Shane's face. "WHERE'S STEPHANIE?!" He then noticed the monitor on the wall showing the bridge of the USS NiTRO. "Steph?!" Stephanie smiled and waved. "Yup! Shane trapped me up here in space. Kinda like Dad did with those WCW guys a long time back." "Don't worry, Steph," Test began. "I'll try to find some way to get you down." "Hey!" Trey chimed in. "She's not the only one trapped up here!" Test blinked. "Oookay. I'll try to get ALL of you down then." As the group was talking, no one noticed Shane getting back up to his feet. He grabbed a near by potted plant and raised it above him. *SMASH!* "TEST!" Stephanie cried out. Shane smiled back at the group as Joey Abs and Pete Gas began dragging the unconscious Test outside. "Don't worry, Sis. You won't be seeing him for a long time. You can count on that." Shane began laughing his usual evil laugh and reached over the button. \ / \ / 0 / \ / \ FWOOOSH! ______________________________________________________________________________________ COPYRIGHTS: The on-screen personas of Test, Shane and Stephanie McMahon, Pete Gas, and Joey Abs are property of themselves and/or the WWF. Pepe LePew and Penelope Cat are property of Warner Bros. All other copyrighted items are property of their respected owners. No infringement is intended by the authors of this MSTing. So PLEASE don't sue. ______________________________________________________________________________________ AUTHORS NOTES: Trey "Colley" Tackett Well, my first group MSTing is now complete! It's taken a while to think of a good plot for the SVAM version of the NiTRO series, but I think it's gonna turn out pretty good. David's a pretty good MSTier! And I hope to work with him again on another group MSTing. As mentioned before, major thanks to Alicia Ashby (Author of the MWT series for those who don't know) for inspiring us to even make an SVAM version! Thanks Alicia! mlepew@hotmail.com http://members.tripod.com/~WolfColley/main.htm (David's notes here)