Phrackin' Up:
Explaining David Gonterman


An Introduction

Gontermania has once again been unleased on the world. There will be a new batch of people who will be exposed to who he is and what he has done. With The Gonterman Shrine getting major publicity, [despite it's limited lifespan--that shows what having a webmaster with a creative mind will do for you]  people will be meeting David through the works posted. Since most of you reading this are wondering what my purpose on this shrine is, let me introduce myself, and the man/fanboy I'll be talking about.

Meet David Gonterman.

David Gonterman lives 11.3 miles (18.3 km) north of St. Louis, Missouri. He attended the Southern Illinois University at Edwardsville, where he graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in Art (despite having his artwork say otherwise.) He has been a user of America Online, spending the last six to five years online.

David Gonterman has written fictional stories, with most of the stories using previously created characters and settings. While in most cases, using the original work of others is called "plagiarism" (or ‘sampling' if you follow Hip Hop) it's allowed on the Internet, as it is called "fan fiction." While there is a vast amount of stories written in the fan-fiction "genre," David Gonterman stands out as an infamous writer for the content of the stories he writes.

After calculating the date from his resume, David Gonterman will be 32 in May.

David currently runs Foxfire Studios ( where he posts his artwork and his stories.

His political preference has been Republican at most times, as he has contributed to most boards showing his "overwhpersonal rights" preference. Such comments have him garnished as a conservative, despite his comics having a man dress up as a woman fox, shortly fondling him/herself thereafter.

David Gonterman is an interesting case. His work, both art and writings, has garnished him fame and publicity. His name is one of the many tossed around the darker corners of the Internet, as it seems the number of people who KNOW who he is grows daily. Every day, someone stumbles along and finds a MiSTIED copy of "Blood and Metal" on some random web site.

David has written stories mainly dealing with the video game Sonic the Hedgehog, the Japanese cartoon series "Sailor Moon," and the book Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, by by Robert C. O'Brien. Actually, David writes the movie Jonathan Brisby (Foxfire Studios' new flagship character), as he credit's  Don Bluth with the original design for Mr. Brisby.

David has shown his sexual interests ranging with fur-suiting, or where you dress up in a freakishly ugly costume in a lame attempt to pretend that you're an animal; being ordered around by a dominatrix, who, judging by David's pictures, would probably be more muscular and taller than him; and receiving oral sex for no particular reason save that he's David Gonterman.

David's core audience is composed of people who make fun of what he does.

David has, on more than one occasion, spewed out thick opinions, reeking of Republican fundamentalistic rhetoric. These rants have caused people to call him a homophobic, rascist, insecure and hateful moron, blinded by illogical and unscientific lies. All of which, in essence, is true.

This has been an introduction.

Howdy. I'm Jesus.

This has been brief. The enigma of David Gonterman has not been given the time it requires to explain him in full. This has been a prep course to what this shrine is dedicated to: the ways and existence of one manboy.

David Gonterman's an interesting individual, for many reasons too complex to keep in this brief introduction. He's not unexplainable, mostly, so what he does can be deciphered and broken down to help all of those who seem to not understand what the hell is going on in most of his stories. While the most of what I say is self-evident, and most of the presumptions I make are not too far off, and yes–you can probably figure this out without me, I'm here to basically point out what makes Gonterman tick.

The Gonterman Shrine is a lighthouse in this sea of confusion. I'm here to stimulate and navigate through the waters of the Davey-Kinz mind. Hopefully, we won't get lost, but if we do, we can ask for directions.
This series will cover as much as possible, with a conclusion.

Along the way, we'll find out about David's misadventures on the Internet, the Friends of Gonterman, why David likes to draw naked animal women, and why in the end, people call him a racist pig fucker.

Feedback can be sent to me, you lord/savior/fellow junkie.

I welcome all viewpoints, corrections, hate-mail, and whatnot. Make it interesting, that's all I ask. 

And with that, I welcome you to what I'm going to do. Hope you enjoy it.


sana ho sana hey Superstar,
Jesus Cantilirian