FoxFire Studios Presents

Sailor Moon: American Kitsune

Installment Three

Sailor Moon by Toei Animation, brought to America by Dic
American Kitsune by David Gonterman []
Storyline by David Gonterman and Edward Becerra
[]<---Become one of Sonic's BAMned
Power Rangers by Bandai, brought to America by Saban


"Ohhh, of all the places in the United States to crash land
into, I have to end up in Nowheresville! There's nothing here
except a whole lot of sky and rocks!"

"For once, Serena, I agree. I used to live in St. Louis; I
can always find something going on there. The Rams moved in,
there's Tilt, the largest video arcade in Missouri. But hey, at
least there's one thing good here. In our line of work, it's
nice to have a quiet day every now and then."

"I suppose so, Uncle Davey. My life's certainly been
everything *but* quiet since I became Sailor Moon. I just wish I
can go to someplace that's cooler."

"Anything can happen; It's a long way to Tokyo. Maybe we
could bring all your Sailor Scout friends over here, and once we
kick the crap out of Beryl, Zedd, and Rita, we could make a
vacation out of it. Maybe go to Disneyland, huh?"

Then Davey saw something was going on from behind Serena.
"They always show up from behind you. Maybe our suits should
have rear view mirrors."

Serena turned around. 'Oh my word. They *followed* me

"You see they Biz Suit that's almost sleepwalking?"

"It's the Negaverse all right. I know their life energy
drain anywhere."

"Kinda like he's been kissing Rouge."

"Sorta. They do that to feed their evil plans."

"I see. Give me a chance to run what I'm seeing through the
spectrum filters in my HUD."

"You've got a heads-up-display? Where? You're aren't
wearing a visor!"

"It's grafted into my eyeballs."

"*In your eyes?* So *that's* why they're red. I thought
you just use Visine by the quart!."

"And they call you a total ditz? Ahhh-hah! I got

"You see it, Uncle Davey?"

"Yeah, it's that carnation on his lapel."

"I know. I recognize the Negaverse's style. Been fighting
them all the time to know. <giggle>"

"Ah reckon that ah'll just take it off him, and he'll snap
back to normal."

"Okay, but be careful. I *know* these people."

David went over to take the carnation off the business man.
He only touched it for a second, but . . .

"Wough!" David staggered, then sank to one knee. "Damn,
it's just like kissing Rouge all right!"

"David! David! Are you O.K.?"

"Y-Yeah! I felt like Shawn Michaels for a moment, but I'll
be okay. Didn't expect it to drain *that* fast!"

The Biz Suit was a little slow in coming around. "W-W-Where
am I? Last thing I knew, this Business Chick pinned that flower
on me." He walked out trying to shake out the cobwebs.

Serena used a napkin to carefully pick up the flower and
throw it into the trash. Someone held the lid for her, to her
surprise. "You know what all that was all about, young lady?"

"Aaaaah," Serena had one of her trademark drop of sweat
(*One Drop*, but a big one) run down her cheek. ". . . errrrrr .
. . I might not know, myself . . . But I know someone who does!
<She turns to David, who was getting back up.> Let's get back to
Edward's and see if my Sailor Suit's fixed."


It was.

Serena thanked Ed's mother one time to many and headed for
the bathroom to change. It was about this time when David and
Edward asked her this question. "In this fight, can anybody join
in, or is this just a one-player game?"

"Weeellll, *I* don't see why not . . . this *is* your
country, after all."

"Great! Just let me reset my Morpher." David took his belt
buckle off and fidgeted with some of its techno-guts for a
moment, as light flashes from the cracks in the bathroom door.

Serena walked out in an average-looking schoolgirl dress
that was affectionately called the 'sailor suit.' It was assumed
that the costume has morphed back into what she has on now.
"Reset your Morpher?"

"What I caught you in is just a beta model: Strictly pre-
season. I'm breaking out the regular season model now; the
FoxFire line. This one's special because I have a real-time
access to the Internet with it, where the majority of my 'Power
Ranger' morphing powers reside. Think of it as having one foot
here in the real world and the other in cyberspace."

"Wow!" "Yeah! I hear that the C|net theme plays while he
morphs! Hahahaha!"

"Don't knock it, Edward! *I* have a very cool fanfare when
*I* transform. But what would you do if you want to come with me
and Uncle Davey?"

"Yeah, and what are you doing in that Closet of Doom?
Taking out them 'Raptors with an Uzi? Hahaha!"

"I'm just getting some stuff I think I'll need. I'm a Army
Veteran, and <sigh> I tend to feel the need to get ready to go
back into service when stuff like the Negaverse happens!" He
sticks his head out for a moment. "Now that I have cyborg
implants helping me go about without any pain--had a bad case of
arthritis all over my body, Serena. It wasn't pretty--I can
actually get my but back into the fight. Maybe I can repay some
old debts I owe back in Germany. <a pause, another sigh> Oh
well, what can I find to kick some Generic Bad Guy butt in here?"
Ed stands in the closet, throwing things out of it. He names
each one as he throws.)

"Hmmm.... robot octopus... no. Complete collection of the
`Executioner' books by Don Pendleton.... no. Timex/Sinclair
ZX-81... Hey! How'd that get in there? Laptop NEXTstation...
maybe later. Protoculture.... better ask Davey, we might need
it. Binky the Clown? Hey, you get outta my closet, ya bum! [On
his way out, Binky gets knocked on the head by a oversized-mallet-
wielding Serena who was screaming "Hentai!! Hentai!!" at
full blast. "Don't you know it's not nice to look up women's
skirts?!"] Old set of Iron Man's power armor? Aw, blast!
Doesn't fit! What a bummer! Spiderman #1... (Hey! It's signed
by Stan Lee!)... no <sigh>."

(Davey and Serena are ducking and dodging various items as
they sail thru the air.)

"Boomerang... No... <toss>... Ouch! Spare parts kit for
Steve Austin? Hmmm, I just might need that for spare parts. The
Clothman Diamond? Maybe I can get some cash for it <sticks it in
pocket>. CVR-7A Personal Body Armor... Yes! Just my size. Now
if I can find a Cyclone to go with it... Complete set of
A.L.I.C.E. army backpack gear with my old cammo BDU's... need
that. The sword Excalibur... no. Can't get it out of that dumb
rock, anyway."

(Davey gets beaned by the Sword in the Stone.)

"The First edition of the Bible, autographed...
(autographed?? Now wait just one damn minute, here!). M.R.E.'s
(Meals, Ready to Eat field rations) . . Yuck! But we might need

"Hey Ed," Davey said as he was drowning in bric-a-brac, "Did
I mention that I can bring stuff in here through cyberspace?
It's an experimental upgrade on the teleporter; I'm the only one
who has it. I have digitized in my private FTP a whole lotta
stuff, including a hoverbike, a Mobile Home, and some lot better
tasting food than those M.R.E.'s. <Turns to Serena> I tried one
of those things. They suck."

BOINK!! The original tape recordings of the Beatles' "Free
as a Bird" song bounced off David's head as Edward continues to
throw stuff.

"The Ark of the Covenant? I thought Indiana Jones had that.
Pop tent & Bivvy sack... take those, too. Sleeping bags... Good,
three of them. Yahooo!!! A British Anime-Tech VR-229 Panther
Cyclone!! Just the ticket, if we gotta kick GBG (generic bad
guy) butt! That's a keeper!"

(steps out of closet & notices that he's buried Davey in a
pile of junk from the closet.)

"Ahhh... I guess I should say 'I'm sorry'?"

"That would be a *good* idea!" Davey fumes.

"R-Right! Hey I bet you two are starved! Let me fix ya up
some dinner."

That made the ears of Serena's hairstyle go up. 'aaaaaiiii.
Not more of those 'Little Boys!' He's gonna nuke us all to
molten slag' She reaches into the junk pile and picks David up
half way. "Er, David-kun [Davey raises an eyebrow. 'Davey-kun,
eh? She must be getting accustomed to me. A good sign.'], is
that Taco Bell we saw on the way out still open?"

"Why, yes, they should--"

That's when Serena ran out of the house in a dust cloud,
carrying her ersatz chaperone by the collar. "Sorry, Ed, but
Serena wants to eat out!"

As the two ran off at the distance, they could hear Ed say,
"But I was going to try Chinese stir fry this time!"


"Ah reckon that between the two of us, we should take out
this family meal for *four* quite nicely. I tend to be a big

"Join the club, Uncle Davey. Sometimes I wonder if I could
fit into this Sailor Suit at times. <Serena holds up a soft
taco> This here's my first one of these."

"Enjoy. <David empties the contents of a hot sauce packet
into a bean burrito> Remind me to stop by a sushi bar along the
way; I hear that stuff's actually good. But, ah, I'll stick to a
fork if you don't mind. Those chopsticks look awfully tricky to
someone like me."

The two were having a good chuckle over the misadventures
over bridging American and Japanese culture. The conversation
dragged to the topic of how and why they chose superheroing as
their calling.

" . . . what I really wanted to be is just a normal,
ordinary kid. <"I heard that before from my own mouth!"> Yeah!
Some people I know say that becoming Sailor Moon's some sorta
*growing* experience to me. I dunno. And what about you?"

"Me? To be honest, I didn't count on joining any pajama
party. I was only interested in being a positive influence to my
particular sub-culture: White Male Americans. As you may have
heard over the news, we as a group does not have the best P.R. in
the world."

Serena gives him the anabe, a hand sign from her country
where she shows what's under one of her eyeballs while sticking
her tongue out. It was regarded like 'Moose Antlers' or a 'Bronx
Cheer.' "I didn't really cared for all that. I've got more
important stuff on my mind."

"Like learning that first-round fatality combo?"

"You got it. <giggles>"

"Anyway . . . When the fur was flying over at St. Louis, I
grabbed a shock baton--that I still have--and started taking out
the first batch of putties I saw. To my surprise, I actually did
pretty good, for someone who wasn't a martial artist then. Maybe
*that's* why I got nailed by some orange beam of light."

"Was that Zordon?"

"At first, I thought I got abducted by aliens; it happens a
lot to us goobers. Next thing I knew, I was laughing my tail off
in the Power Rangers Command Center wondering if I lost my mind.
I suppose that talking to a floating head did not help any.
Eventually I *did* calm down enough to find out *who* I'm talking
to--after I got K.O.ed by that talking sword the White Ranger
totes around. I was shocked to find out that Zordon found some
potential in me. He gave me this mini morphing grid to help me
out. Did me some good over there." David face went a bit
somber, as he popped a loaded nacho chip in his mouth. "After
breaking up that race riot back there, after having enough with
being unappreciated--at least--I thought about giving it up. I
tried to get rid of my Morpher several times. I even threw it
back at the Rangers . . . "

-You . . . *Fucking* . . . Idiot!! What makes you think . .
. I wanna join . . . your pajama party . . . after what they've
done . . . to me?!-

"No matter how far I'd throw it, it ends up back on my belt
buckle. I'm bonded to this morphing grid like you are with that
school dress, for better or for worse, like marriage with a
thing. I was fuming all the way over here wondering *what* on
earth I'm going to do with myself. . ."

" . . . When *I* fell into your arms, literary."

"And they call you a ditz, Serena?"

Serena turns to the window to sip some soda. "Hmmm . . .
Maybe I was born in the wrong country--phphphpphphphtt!!"

Something out the window made the soda go down the wrong

"Serena, what's wrong? You look as if you've seen a ghost."

She stood up pointing frantically outside. "I-I-I-I HAVE!!

"Where?" David remained calm in contrast to the hysterical
Serena as he searched outside for whoever pushed her button.

"Business guy with short hair holding out those *same*
carnations!! His name's Jadeite. He the first *major* boss I .
. ." She found out at that point that she was saying all this.
"OH!! Hahahahaha!! Excuse me, I'm sorry . . . <returns to her
seat and quiets down> . . . that the Sailor Scouts defeated. But
he's supposed to me dead!"

David found the guy who fits the description and switched on
the spectrum that detected the energies from that carnation. It
registered identically. -He's Negaverse, all right- Then he
turns to Serena. "So he pulled a Jean Grey, so what? We'll just
kick him back down again . . . after we finish off this dinner
real fast. <both David and Serena began to eat fast> I want him
to sweat for a minute."

"Hummm, Hummm, Yummm. Sounds like a good idea. Nothing
ticks me off like someone interrupting my dinner. humm-humm"

Unfortunately someone recognized her from the cartoons an
animation company named DIC imported into America. "Hey, Miss!
You're Sailor Moon, aren't you? I've heard a *lot* about you

That brought some of the kids in town over by the now-grossly-
embarrassed Serena. "Must be the hair, huh folks? heh-heh"

"That's why I *don't* have a secret identity," David says
very animatedly. "I *know* that it's gonna be blown eventually.
In fact, I do *hope* that Rita and Zedd find out where I live, so
I can greet them when they show up and stuff them for my wall.
<He then turns to the kids> As for you folks, here's my card.
<He takes a handful of business cards with his name and E-Mail
address and lets them fly 52-card-pickup style to the audience>
Pick a good seat and enjoy what's happening next. <He leads
Serena off the table> It's Show Time, Serena."



"Hey, I found Serena's Crescent Wand! How's *that* get in
here. She's gonna need it."


"Good thing Dave gave me his spare communicator--Talk to me!
. . . uh-uh . . . What? You found some *already*? . . . Well,
I'd love to join in, but I have to get some of my stuff out
first. . . Okay . . . Just don't *die* until I get there. I'll
just jump on in when I get ready. . . may the Power protect you
and all that jazz. Legion out.

"And just for *that* crack, Mister . . ."

A few moments later, and every computer in Edward's home was
singing the C|Net Theme.


As David and Serena walked outside, they discussed battle
plans. "Here Serena," David said, giving her a intercom headset
with a visor. "It'll keep a data link between us, so we can do
strategy on the fly. It'll also activate some of my hi-tech toys
to help us out too. I just hope that it doesn't clash with your

Serena examined it. "I don't think it would." She put it
on; it didn't, although she commented about it being more suited
for Sailor Mercury, the tech buff of her team. "So, as you say
around here: It's Morphing Time!"

"So right . . . Command FoxFire Online!" David grabbed his
Morpher and pressed the red activation button. What looked like
the intro scene of C|Net appeared to envelop him. Serena could
swear that the show's tune was being played as well.

"Moon Prism Power!" Serena starts to glow pale white, as
her Sailor Suit was replaced with her Sailor Moon costume, which
materialized over her in ribbons.

David's morph was a macho version of her own as Sailor Moon
observed. He didn't appear in spandex, as she was accustomed to,
but battle armor, more stylish than what he had on before,
pixilated over the clothes he has on to the sound of metal on
metal. Cyclops-style suspenders and a visor appeared, both
spouting techno-graphics. She thought that the orange and white
glow over his head would become his helmet, but instead it
materialized into fur! His face was changed into a fox's! And
he sprouted a tail behind him as well!!

"D-David-kun?" Sailor Moon gasped to now fox-like creature,
who was wondering if she saw anything wrong, until she popped out
a compact and let him take a look at the mirror. "You, you *are*
a Kitsune. . . A fox!"

If Davey could blush under his now white fluffy cheeks, he
was doing so. "Crud, I didn't have the chance to tell you *this*
side of me, didn't I. I'll tell you later, if you don't mind,
now that we have some bad guy butt to kick. But let me just say,
that I've got spandex bet with this fur coat. <laughs>"

"I must say, it's you! I think I saw it when I first woke
up, but I was half-asleep at that time--"

Suddenly, a crash sounded from a Korean store nearby,
followed by some *severe* cussing in a foreign language that
sounded Asian.

Without another word, the two rushed toward it. But as they
did, Sailor Moon had to ask, "Er, David, what should I call you
while we're in this?"

"Call me . . . FoxFire"

"Like I said: It's *you*! <giggle>"

To Be Continued.

It sure felt like pulling teeth on this one, as well as the
second installment of Haunted Fantasies. I attributed this to
the holidays only. Not being able to use the college computers
really put a cramp on my network connections. But I'm back on
the saddle after the three week vacation, and I'll be going
strong again.

Be here for Installment Three, as Sailor Moon and David, as the
new FoxFire, face the return of Jadeite, back from the dead, but
definably *not* the same! Can we say "Mary Shelly?" Can we say
"Bram Stoker?" Can we say "Let's kick his @$$ no matter how
crappy he looks like?"

FoxFire Studios