FoxFire Universe Presents:
Sailor Moon: American Kitsune
By David Gonterman
Sailor Moon by Toei Amination
We've finally able to regain our connection with Sailor Moon:
American Kitsune, after they fired an awesome blast with their
own Power Blaster, created with the help of their newest
acquisition and former Power Ranger, David "FoxFire" Kintobor.
it appears that the collective energies released had temporarily
scrambled all transmission as it reduced the Giant-sized Zoicite
to nothing more than his HIV infection.
CUT TO NEGAVERSE:
In the background, Malachite can be heard bawling his guts out,
swearing that he'll kill FoxFire for what he did to his lover.
Queen Beryl: "You're ain't kidding, Buster. This guy's beside
himself with grief over there. Wailing away like Sailor Moon,
shameful. I have greatly underestimated FoxFire. And now that
this Rouge Power Ranger's now with the Sailor Scouts . . . eh?
David Kintobor's resume? Thanks, Jadeite. . . mmm, let's see.
Former Alias--I knew that . . . Former Occupation; Power Ranger .
. . I knew that . . . Mobius? . . . I didn't know that . . .
[Eyes grow *wide*] . . . I *didn't* know this?!?! Are you
"Yes, Queen Beryl. That tyrant *is* David Kintobor's father.
And in a way, Sailor Moon's as well."
"Mmmmm." Beryl shows her wicked smile. "This may prove
interesting. We've got things to do, Jadeite."
"Yes, my Queen."
WE RETURN TO THE SCOUTS AS THEY MOP IT UP IN DENVER:
FoxFire: "EAT DIRT, NEGA-SCUM!!! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!! ALL VILE
YOMAS FROM THE PIT OF HELL SHALL TASTE MY LIQUID DEADLY BLASTS OF
JUSTICE!!! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!" (This, of course, was said
under automatic fire)
The scouts look on in disbelief as their US Liaison is shooting
indiscriminately into 25 Putties.
Mars: "All right, Serena? Where's you get this guy?"
Venus: "Yeah, I was expecting Jason David Frank--"
Mercury: "--And we've got Earthworm Jim!!"
Jupiter: "Who cares?? He's cool, and he's cute!"
Moon: "And he's also not leaving any for us!! DAVID,
SHARE THE CLAYBRAINS!!"
Luna: "He may have to," she speaks into her Visor Com;
all the scouts have one by now. "FoxFire, leave the putties to
Mars and scout ahead; I just spotted two bigger fish to fry."
FoxFire: "Will do--always wanted to do this move--TAIL SPIN!!"
Foxie spins his twin tails and takes off into the air a la Miles
Prower, as Sailor Mars flips into where he was standing. "You
suck, so I'll set you on fire, cuz fire's cool--BURNING
MANDALLA!!" (Note to detail sticklers: in American Kitsune, the
scouts can use either version of their attacks; it means the same
thing anyway...someone'll mention this later.)
As Mars does her special move, she spins around as the fire rings
fly. The result is 25 ceramic statues and a 50-meter radius of
"Nice going, Bevis . . . you've got the stragglers, Foxie."
"Sure do, Rabbit. I'm pipping my feed into your visors--"
"YAAAAAAH!! A SKELETON!! CREEPY!!"
"That's Rito Repulssa, Ladies; Rita's younger brother. And that
ape dork by him's Goldar, Zeddie's right hand monkey. They are
bad, they are evil, I must kick their asses off--POWER DIVE!!"
Jupiter: "You hit 'em high, Foxie--"
Venus: "And we'll hit them low--BANZAI!!!"
"Hey Goldar. I never knew that these Sailor Babes have a power
blaster, much less one that can take out communications from all
"Rito, you idiot. They didn't have one until that Renegade
Ranger Kintobor joined up with them. Now we've gotta find out
what they left of Beryl's operations in Denver."
"You mean this?"
"Who said that?"
"I think it's that cute chick in the miniskirt," Rito said while
"Sailor Jupiter! What in Haim Saban's name did you do to
"Yeah, can could you bend over so I can look under your dress?"
"Only if you do the same so I can aim this right. <Sailor
Jupiter's tiara extends a lightning rod.> SUPREME THUNDER
<Lightning comes from nowhere and collects around her> CRASH!!"
The lightning is thrown at Rito, which sends him back for a loss
of twenty yards. While Jupiter was in the middle of this sack,
Goldar finds Sailor Venus charges at her with sword in hand.
"Leave it to a man to mistake his weapons for his privates."
While Goldar was distracted by Venus' reciting Catwoman, she
fires off a Crescent Beam at him. The laser light deposits the
ape man on top of Rito.
"All right, Foxie-kun, there all lined up in a newt row for
ya--sic 'em kit!"
Five seconds later, a two-tailed fox at about 5-foot-100, 250
lbs. drops out of the sky and lands on top of the pile of space
aliens a la Yokosuma. Venus does the three count while Jupiter
yells "Go to your room!" at the two victim's ears.
When the rest of the scouts show up, the Rito and Goldar were
hogtied by Venus' Love Me Chain.
Jupiter: All right, ape man. Talk! What's Rita and Zedd doing
Goldar: Eat $#!* and die, Sailor &!*¢#!!
FoxFire: I'm more interested in finding out who's this Zitkor
guy and *his* involvement in all this. You see this, dickweed?
<Holds up a baggie marked WARNING: BIOHAZARD with a black ugly
sphere the size of a mangled golf ball> This is the HIV Virus I
reduced Zoey to and look, even *this* has 'Zitkor' engraved on
Rito: Maybe Zitkor made that virus.
Goldar: Will you shut up you fool!! Do you want every gay man
on the Net coming after your @$$?
Rito: But the Freemen said that . . .
Sailor Moon: I don't think they're talking, Foxie.
FoxFire: They don't have to: DATA SPEAR!!
The cable snakes out and splits the head into headset mode. It
latches onto Rito, which causes him to nearly convulse himself
into just a pile of bones.
Goldar: What the heck are you doing to him?
When the Spear is done with Rito, Foxie turns it on Goldar. The
effect is like having Lum deliver 10,000 volts directly on his
After the Spear was through, both space aliens were left in the
heap they were convulsing in while FoxFire was describing what
he'd done for the Scouts: "I quite literally picked their brains
clean. I sucked every memory that their little brains were able
to hold, so that I can sift them through later to find out if
they know anything on Zitkor, Beryl, Rita, Zedd, whatever. Oh,
don't worry about them. They'll won't be a threat to anybody
anymore. I also erased their memory as I went through them.
"Folks," David hunches over the pile of Zitkor evidence, "It's
worse than I expected: Not only is this Zitkor--An unscrupulous
biz suit that does for real what Republicans are falsely accused
of doing; phrack the environment, phrack old people, phrack sick
kids, connected with our short list of arch-villains, he himself
*is* an arch-villain. Zitkor is also this overlord named
Grimlord from some other dimension run by machines."
"Kinda like Robotnik's sick dream gone amuck . . .oops."
Minako was taken back of that remark she made of David's father.
She looked with open-eyed remorse at David. "I'm sorry, I didn't
know . . ."
"It's alright. I made peace with what my father is a long time
ago. That's why it took seventy-plus years on Mobius. It took
me so long to do so. Anyway, This Grimlord's in on the action
too, which just makes things that much more difficult for us."
"And that's not all, David," Minerva appeared with Edward,
Jason, Trini, and Zack. None of them are very happy.
"Newsflash: Coming up next: More bad news. Out with it."
"Well, we were able to verify the position of the Power Rangers
Command Center, but I'm unable to verify the existence of the
Power Rangers Command Center."
"What do you mean, Jason."
"It's gone, Davey," Zack answered. "It's been destroyed."
An exterior view showing the floating island that the Command
Center was supposed to be was shown.
Serena: "Uh, is there something in this picture we're not
supposed to see?"
David: "Correction, Sister, There's not something we *are*
supposed to see, but see that pit there. *That's* supposed to be
the Power Rangers Command Center."
Zack: "It's completely destroyed, and we can't contact the
Trini: "For all I know, they could be all d--"
Jason: "Don't *say* that, Trini. I know Tommy. I'm sure they
all are all right. We just gotta find them. They might need our
David: "Correction, Jason. They *will* need your help. Get
your butts over to Angel Grove pronto."
Edward: "I can take them there on the Calypso."
David: "Okay then, Ed. Scouts, Tux, follow me to my car. I've
got work to do."
David opens up his larger on the inside Lamboghini; actually a
Tardis reduced to the state of an Italian sports car with the
room of a mobile home, as he instructs that "We're going to Cross
World City by car to avoid detection. There's the place where
Zitkor, a.k.a. Grimlord, hold his world headquarters. It is also
the home of his arch-rivals: The V.R. Troopers. [David shows
the Troopers on his Hologram Projector in his robot hand.] I
don't think we'll have any trouble enlisting their help on our
quest to defeat Beryl and Company.
Darien: "And what a company she's keeping. Queen Beryl, Rita
Repulssa, Lord Zed, and Grimlord too?"
Lita: "There's a sick plot from a Batman episode in this."
Amy: "We *will* need all the help we can get."
David goes to a side panel, and with a "and I whole-heartedly
agree" opens it to reveal:
Raye: "Whoa, look at this!"
Minako: "What are they?"
Lita: "Hey, those are morphers!!"
Ami: "And power coins with *our* marks!"
Serena: "David-kun, are these for us?!"
David: "Hai, Sister. Luna, Artemis, and myself worked all night
with stuff I scrounged up from surplus Power Ranger stuff, and
created your very own Morphing Grid in tune to your planetary
powers; they *are* compatible with Power Ranger technology. With
these new add-ons to your suits, your effectiveness with your
attacks, especially those involving stuff like fireballs,
lightning bolts, and various hearts, will be greatly enhanced--
don't sweat it, Penguin boy, we're fixing one up for you too."
Darien: "Penguin boy, eh? Do you got any Bud Ice in here? doo
be doo be doo . . ."
David rolls his eyes. "How can you stand this guy, ladies?
You'll also find out that your suits double as armor, and all of
you have VR-style 'Enhanced Imaging' that puts any one of you up
at par with a full team of Rangers. Your powers can also take a
new form of weapons as well, much like the Rangers. Serena, you
can summon a Moon Sword. Amy, you have Mercury Daggers. Raye,
the Mars Lance is your weapon. Lita has a Jupiter Axe. And you
Minako can summon a Venus Bow."
Minako: "Domo Arigato. And we all suppose that these weapons
can make a Power Blaster?"
David: "Of course, and they can also be argumented with my Power
Rifle. I just insert it in it's proper place, and we'll have the
Ultra Blaster, which is just like what we threw at Zoey last
Amy: "Do we have Zords too?"
David: Unfortunately no, but I *am* trying to get the next best
David reaches for a communicator and contacts the Calypso: "Hey,
Edward, you made that call yet?"
"I'm just getting on that right now," Edward reached for the
"Operator, please connect me to the Banzai Institute for
Engineering and Strategic Information....Thank you."
"Hello?...Hey! New Jersey! How are ya, guy? It's
back. Been a while since the Federated Commonwealth. How's
and his Sommerset Strikers? Good. Is Buckaroo available? I got
A big one. Okay, I'll hold...."
"Hi, Doc! It's good to hear from you, too. I hate to impose,
got a problem at this end. The Negaverse... Yeah, Beryl's shown
finally. Looks like she's joined forces with Repulsaa and Zed,
Yeah, I thought I'd quit, too. No, I don't really want to, but
do I have? We've got people depending on us. Anyway, my friend
me all of the Power Rangers' Zords are down, thanks to their
So I need some battlemechs. Can you get me five CRK 5003-1s?...
Good! And we'll need all the upgrades we can get. Double heat
class engines, Extended range lasers, the whole shmere... You
Thanks, Doc. I can really use the help. It looks like it's
gonna hit the
fan here. Just ship 'em to my Closet of Doom, ok?... No, Dave
got a way to get 'em through the door. And that makes the Closet
fastest way to get 'em here. Oh! Before I forget, did you ever
handle on that Enhanced Imaging trick the Clans used?... You
right! Throw that in too, along with a Virtual Reality cockpit
for four of the CRKs,
and a cyberlink for the fifth... Why? Well, Dave's nickname is
he has a cyborg arm with a built-in HUD and a cyberjack cable.
So he gets
the fifth CRK."
"Take care, Buckaroo. Call ya after the battle, ok? OH! and
one more thing:
Can you make David's Crockett a two seater? He's gonna be
carrying a passenger.
Thanks. I'll let you know how it turns out. Fortuna bless,
Ed hung up the phone.
"Okay, Davey. I just got us some heavy firepower. I just
enough. I haven't fought giant monsters in years. Not since I
made it back
to _this_ universe, anyway. I'm not up on what we need to beat
I'm still a little rusty at the superheroing business."
Raye: So you're riding shotgun with Davey-san's Mech, Serena?
Serena: Well, like they say; two heads are better than one.
Raye: Yeah, but with you and your brother, they'll make for one
brain, all right.
Serena: Hey!! Be nice with my David! Besides, he wouldn't want
*you* in his Mech, you'd overheat it just by sitting in your
Raye: At least I'll be sitting in *my* seat, rather then heating
things up with him in *his* seat!
Serena: At least it'll be with *him*, and not by anybody who
walks in off the street!!
Raye: EXCUSE ME, I'M . . .
David: Do they always go at it like this?
Darien: I'm afraid so. Welcome to the Sailor Scouts, David
Kintobor. Hope you survive the experience. heh heh heh.
David: Oh, I think I'm doing very well here. In fact I might be
doing more in two weeks than you did two years.
Darien: What makes you say that, Rookie?! I've been here since
"A Moon Star is Born;" Only your kid sister can say that!
David: And what have you been doing all that time? You come in,
throw a rose, say a bit of advice and leave? And in between your
fifteen seconds of fame, you make fun of my kid sister's hairdo?!
Darien: I can't help it! She's got meatballs not only on her
head, but *in* it as well! That's why I call her 'Meatball
David: That's '*Ms* Meatball Head' to you, Flower Boy!!
Darien: Make me, Brushy Butt!!
Lita: LET'S GET IT ON!!
The two guys so at it right there.
Minako: That was downright nasty of you, Lita. Break it up, you
two. Gentlemen shouldn't fight.
Artemis: Who's calling FoxFire a gentlemen?
Luna: Don't be too hasty on your judgement, my friend. True,
the phrase "Redneck Gentleman" might be a contradiction of words,
but David Kintobor's the closest one to just that.
Serena: Raye, what's wrong, you look like you're about to--
Serena was about to say 'cry,' because at this point, that's what
Raye did. At full blast.
"WWWWWHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! They're fighting over Serena! <SOB>
I wish they fight over meeeeeEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!"
Serena: Well, David wouldn't want you, so there! <anabeeeeee>
(Note: An anabe is pulling a lower eyelid gently to show the red
part, accompanied by sticking your tongue out. A Gentle way to
flicking someone off without being offensive or vulgar. Rates a
2 or a 3 of Mangajin's Politeness scale.)
Raye goes up to Serena and grabs her by her 'meatballs.' "Let me
tell you this so you'll finally understand:
Y Y O O U U
Y O O U U
Y O O U U
Y OOO UUU
AAA RRRR EEEEE
A A R R E
AAAAA RRRR EEEEE
A A R R E
A A R R EEEEE
H H IIIII SSS
H H I S
HHHHH I SSS
H H I S
H H IIIII SSS
SSS IIIII SSS TTTTT EEEEE RRRR
S I S T E R R
SSS I SSS T EEEEE RRRR
S I S T E R R ,
SSS IIIII SSS T EEEEE R R ,
DDDD AAA MMMMM NNN N IIIII TTTTT ! !
D D A A M M M N N N I T ! !
D D AAAAA M M M N N N I T ! !
D D A A M M M N N N I T
DDDD A A M M M N NNN IIIII T ! !"
Amy: Raye's right I'm afraid. They have laws against going with
your siblings, even long-lost ones. And the horrors that come
out of in-breeding are too terrible to mention.
Raye: So, one of us must be this guy's date. And that of course
will be me, since *I'm* the most popular Scout in the bunch.
Besides, *I* need someone now that Darien's spoken for thank's to
this Tuxedo Mask mush.
Amy: Nonsense. We should let David decide on his own. (Aside:)
Besides, it will easily be me once I program his cyborg half to
follow me around <g>
Minako: Well, once he finds out how good I am with small pets,
he'll naturally pick me. (Aside:) Especially when he's a guy
and a dog at the same time. He's two-two-two cute hunks in one
Lita: Get Serious! There's one sure way to this yipper's heart,
and that's his stomach!!
By the time that *everybody's* deeply into this heated debate.
David quietly slipped out of Darien's grasp, morphed into full
fox mode, and slipped a Green Day tape into a boom box. That's
got everybody's attention: "Hey, what can I say? Moshing this
good has got to have cool music to go around."
And that got him jumped on by all the other Scouts.
FoxFire: Oh, punish me, punish me, I've been bad . . . <g>
Luna: All right, everybody. Play time's over. I want that
yipper cleaned up and ready to drive us over to Cross World City
by the time the next installment starts . . .
CUT TO: BANZAI INSTITUTE FOR BIOMEDICAL ENGINEERING AND
Buckaroo Banzai just stood there with his jaw hanging, ever since
he heard the name of the guy who'll be flying the fifth Crockett.
Quickly, he searched his data bases for a David Kintobor and
found a CD full of files on him. He pauses for a while to tell
the order guy to make that fifth CRK a two seater.
The reasons behind this extra feature is made clear when he
placed the CD-ROM in a computer, and a red furred, three-tailed
fox appeared on the screen. David "FoxFire" Kintobor. Kitsune
from America and Eighth Sailor Scout. Known throughout his home
city of Hiroshima, Japan as one of their better images of the
American Spirit and as a lethal weapon again anyone who dares
attack innocents in that country. Over 100 lifetime kills before
the Robotech era began, including Queen Beryl, Lord Zedd, Rita
Repulssa, Genom, Godzilla, Hoppasai, and several others.
Pictures include him with his sister, Serena Tsukino; holding his
adopted goddaughter, Reeny Kintobor, on his shoulders; getting
worshiped by Leona Osaki of the Tank Police and chewing her out
because of it (he's so modest).
But the last picture of him, sitting in the twin seat cockpit of
his mysterious custom-built Mech, the only one of a set of five
that survived the final battle with Queen Beryl. He could just
barely see the markings of the Mech that it started as: a CRK
"Can it be . . . "
To be continued:
And just to add a little more time for the Sailor Scouts, I'm
adding in a bonus scene in Installment 10: