FoxFire Studios Presents: [http://users.aol.com/dgonterman]
Sailor Moon: American Kitsune
Installment # 11
Story by David Gonterman [email@example.com]
Sailor Moon by Toei Animation of Japan, brought to the USA by DIC
Support Our Sailors:
"In the name of Cartoons that Don't Suck, I shall punish all who
cancel our favorite Meatball Head! And does that mean you?
Luna and Artemis drove the car the rest of the way into Cross
World City, thanks to the fact that it's really a Tardis with a
cat-friendly interface. The smell of breakfast was just about to
wake everybody up thanks to Lita waking up early.
Everyone that is, except Serena.
Darien: That's our Meatball Head, Kinto. We'll be in Hiroshima
during the bomb and she'll still sleep it through.
Serena, of course, was still dreaming about a planet called
Mobius, an hedgehog named Sonic, and a mysterious fox named David
Kintobor. All this and Robotnik too. "Just for calling me
that," she says in her sleep, "you sack of lard, here's a tiara
right between the eyes."
In real-time, she only threw Luna across the bed.
In response, David shifted into full fox mode (Minako: "No
matter how many times he does that, it still amazes me.") and
scampered on top of her, so that he's panting right in her face.
Serena mumbled for Darien for five more minutes, but by the smell
of dog breath, she realized it wasn't Darien. She cracked her
eyes to see a face full of fur with his cold wet nose touching
Fox: "Morning, Sis. <SLURP!!>" David licks her starting with
her chin, across her mouth, and up her nose.
The next thing David knew, he was outside, having been catapulted
off Serena, out of the car, and into a telephone pole.
Serena: "WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! Don't do that *again* Foxie!!"
Raye: "But he had to wake you up. We're here."
Serena: "Yeah, but he didn't have to french kiss me this early
in the morning, and in fox mode too. UGH!! Dog Germs!! YICK!!"
Raye: "Well, if you *do* want to be in bed with him like you
have been doing, that's what you have to contend with, Serena!"
Serena: "I can't get in bed with him, he's like my brother. I'd
let you have him, but I don't think he'd go with anyone as cranky
Raye: "What makes you think *I'm* cranky? *You're* the one who
woke up on the wrong side of the bed . . .
David: "Okay, round . . . er . . . what's the number now?"
Amy: "I'm sorry, but I lost count."
Luna: "So did I."
Artemis: "Maybe they'll have a fight and a hockey game breaks
Minako: "You've been waiting to use that line, did you? <g>"
Suddenly, a college woman in a gray karate uniform storms out of
a building marked "Tao's Dogo" and toward the fight. David's on-
board computer IDed her as Katlin, one of the VR Troopers.
Katlin: "Will you two *please* keep it down?! I can hear you
all the way across the city!"
Raye: "Butt out, lady."
Serena: "Yeah, keep out of this!"
David: "I suggest you let them be, ma'am. I made the mistake of
getting in-between them, and I paid for it that night when they
dressed me up as a Sailor Scout in my sleep. Talk about
Darien: "Yeah, I didn't know you could wail away like Meatball
Serena: "That's *MISS* Meatball Head to *you*, mister!!"
She grabbed Darien by the lapel and pulled him into the fight,
which was producing it's own cloud by now, like what happens in
David: "Now I'm *definitely* not getting in there now." He
notices Katlin return to the dogo where two more heads stick out
the door. According to the HUD, they belonged to "Ryan Steel"
Minako: "Don't worry, Davie-san. This happens all the time
around us. Just pretend it's perfectly normal."
Raye sticks up her head, and a ruffled up shirt, from the cloud.
"Yeah, normal except for Serena. She's just normally abnormal."
Serena finds her with a mallet at full speed, pounding her back
in the cloud. The same blow ejects Darien, with his jacket
ripped in places, out of the altercation.
David tisks: "mymymy, your good clothes look really frazzled,
and by your own teammates as well. At least I'm only wearing
plainclothes when I'm not in costume; something I don't mind
being in when I'm roughhousing. No wonder I'm slowly sliding in
Darien: "No phracking way . . . <rolls eyes at the cuss word he
uses> . . . you can replace me. *I'm* supposed to be Princess
Serena's lover, not Princess Serena's *Pet!*"
David: "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, but Princess Serena's *Pet* is not
afraid of getting his tuxedo dirty--"
Darien: "Are you calling me a slacker?"
David: "I don't have to, Tuxedo *Dunce*. All the time I see
you, you were only throwing roses. I've been throwing everything
but in the two weeks I've been in your team. . ."
The fight Serena and Raye were in abruptly stops when they find
out who else was fighting.
Raye: "Sheesh. Darien had it worse than when he was with
Lita: "Yeah. I can just see them fight it out over Princess
Serena in the Moon Kingdom."
Serena: "Thanks a lot, guys. That'll be an image stuck in my
mind for the rest of the trip: Prince Darien dragging around a
very protective fox--who's got him by the pant leg--all around
Darien: "How *dare* you say that you can make a better partner
for Sailor Moon than *me*. *You're* her big brother!!"
David: "And *you're* over a decade her senior!!"
Darien: "So are *you*, Meatball Head!!"
David: "I don't have Meatballs on my Head, mister!"
Darien: "No, you have Meatballs *in* your Head!!" He shakes
David to illustrate, listing to something bounce around in his
David: "THAT DID IT!! <whips out a staff, so does Darien>
There can be only one, Mr. Bud Ice, and that's gonna be *me!!*"
In Zitkor's office, all this is being seen on a viewer.
" . . . so these are the infamous Sailor Senshi Queen Beryl
warned me about. Pshaw. *Pathetic!!* I wonder what she was
smoking when that Meatball Headed Ditz and her squabbling friends
kicked her ass. I don't think they have the moxie to kick around
one putty even with the help of their two boys, Tuxedo Mask and
that new guy. What's his name . . ."
". . . Don't correct me, you fool. . . . I'm sure that the VR
Troopers'll make short work of them for me, with all the crap
that I send to the gossip rags, but first, let's throw some Skugs
at them. I wanna see what these Sailor Scouts got."
David and Darien were about to go at it with mallets when a cop
slaps handcuffs on them. They abruptly stop and blink at what's
joining them at the wrists.
The cop spoke in a too-much-like-monotone voice: "You're coming
with us for disturbing the peace."
Raye: "Do you think that was wise, Officer? I mean chaining
those two like that, they'd probably kill each other." -I'm
getting bad vibes from those pigs. I better power up one of my
killer Post-It notes, just in case- <Raye pulls out a charm
scroll and charges it up.>
Amy pulls out her palmtop: 'Oh-oh, those cops aren't really
human. No doubt that Zitkor sicced them on us.' "May I ask for
your identification, Sir? I can't find that number on your badge
anywhere on my files."
Lita: "Yeah, it's nothing, really. It's just two guys in an
argument. It's no big deal."
Serena: "It'll just blow over without anything happening. I
know. It happens all the time with me and Raye. <Her eyes begin
to water> I don't want you to take my Darien and David away . .
By this time, Raye's Post-It note is standing erect. "Jeez,
Serena, and you call*me* promiscuous!"
Minako: "Yeah, Serena! The four of us have dibs on your big
Luna: "Save it Scouts!!"
Artemis: "Yeah! They're not real cops!!"
Cop: "You've got that right, cat."
After that line, he and about seven other people revealed their
true identity; humanoids who look like Putties in bat costumes.
About seven more pop up from the ground.
Raye: "I *knew* it!! MARS FIREBALL CHARGE!!" She throws the
scroll like a throwing star, which slices the handcuffs off the
Serena: "Ohmigosh, what are *they!?!*"
David: Well, sis, they look like Putties, act like Putties,
think like Putties, and even smell like Putties . . . "
Lita: " . . . So lets treat them like Putties! Ya-taaaaaa!!"
She, Raye, David, and Darien engage, only to be thrown back.
Lita: "Uggggghhh!! Not Putties . . . Definetly *Not* Putties .
Darien: "I couldn't find a weak spot, did you, Dave?"
David: "No, not in the usual places."
Luna: "They're too powerful on your own, Scouts. They're called
Skugs, and they're at least twice the power of an average Putty."
Artemis: "Time to make like Power Rangers and morph, guys."
Raye: "If anyone says 'It's Morphin' Time,' about now, I'm gonna
flame him . . ."
Katlin: "Hey guys, come cop just turned into Skugs. I think
it's time for, you know. <wink>"
Ryan: "<winks back> Riight. Hold the fort, Tao. We'll be back
in a bit . . ."
The three Troopers duck into an alley to transform, but:
Ryan: "Trooper Trans--WHAT TH--"
"MOON PRISM POWER"
"Tuxedo Mask, what's your problem?"
"I DON'T HAVE A CATCHING TRANSFORMATION PHRASE!!"
"Put a sock in it, Cobblepot! <slug>"
The Troopers didn't do their transformation but they stuck their
necks out of the alley to find that the five girls and the two
guys have transformed themselves into. . . .
Katlin: "The Sailor Senshi!! So those brats are the famous
Sailor Scouts. They're gonna pay for what they did to my
Ryan and JD: "Huh?"
Katlin: "I heard that those bitches killed Rocky, the best
friend I've ever had!! I'm gonna kill them!!"
The Scouts turned to the troopers with a sweat drop on each.
FoxFire: "Did I just step into someone else's FanFict here?"
Mars: "We never even *met* a Rocky, never mind kill him!"
Jupiter: "Yeah, what gossip rag have you been reading?"
Luna: "Uh, guys, can you leave these two for later, we got
Skugs to kill!"
Moon: "We're haven't forgotten them, Luna. ahem, we are the
Sailor Senshi--" <OOFF!!!>
A Skug tackled her.
Moon: "WAAAAHHH!! The bad guys are offsides again!! Someone
throw the penalty flags!!"
Mars tosses one to Moon to cry in with a sneer in her face, then
turned to the pack of Skugs. "Let's just skip the speech and
take these Claybrains out!!"
Ryan: "Hey, FYI, those aren't Putties. They're called Skugs,
and you can easily take them out by knocking them to--"
Mars: "MARS FIRE, IGNITE!!"
Jupiter: "JUPITER THUNDER, CRASH!!"
Venus: "CRESCENT BEAM, SMASH!!"
The city block gets incinerated, as do the entire troupe of
Ryan: " . . . never mind . . . "
Katlin: "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!?!"
Jeb: "I think it was a twenty-point fireball pumped by a full
set of lightning bolts and magic missiles. I sure would hate to
see the amount of mana tapped to pull *that* off."
Luna and Artemis: "OHMYGOD!! A TALKING DOG!!!!"
Artemis: "That's get outta here, I'm freaking out!!"
Luna: "We're outie!!" The two cats head for higher ground.
Venus: "What did your dumb mutt did to Luna and Artemis?"
Katlin: "Hopefully Jeb'll *eat* them when he's done! TROOPER
TRANSFORM!! <She's still bitching in mid-morph.> Who do you
think you are flaming, electrifying, and doing other crap where
ever you go, drag those fleabag cats with you, and those tacky
costumes!! Who the phrack's your tailor? I should see him
Moon: "First off, Luna and Artemis are the best cats in the
world, we wouldn't want to be *near* that mangy mutt, no offence,
Foxie . . . and our costumes? Tacky? That did it!! In the name
of the Moon--"
FoxFire: "Did you just do your speech, sis?"
Moon: "New bad guy, new speech. It's in the union rules."
Mars: "Yeah, right."
Katlin charges: "Never mind that! *I'll* be the one punishing
Ryan: "Hey, waitaminute! Can't we just get along? Listen, I'm
not doing anything tonight, you know?"
Katlin stops just short on the Scouts and turns on Ryan, who have
just finished his transformation. "I can't believe you!! You
want to take these murderous bitches, these Senshi, on a *date*?"
T Mask: "Scouts, these VR Troopers aren't our real enemies. I
suggest we take them down easy."
FoxFire: "I agree, apparently someone's spreading rumors that
*we* were responsible for the Current Rangers disappearance. I
have a short list on who's spreading them."
Mercury: "Let's deal with these Troopers first, then find out
who's running the rumor mill."
Jupiter: "Yeah, and kick *that* dork's ass off!!"
Ryan: "Well, I think they're cute, but work first, sex life
Katlin: "What was that we had last night then?!"
Ryan: "Let's not talk about it now..."
There wasn't much time to talk about anything else, either,
because the usual mindless violence was the rule of the day.
Ryan: "Not bad, Sailor Mars. You fight almost as well as a
Mars: "That's funny, I was about to say the same thing about
Ryan: "<dodge> Whoa! Hitting a bit below the belt?"
Mars: "No, this is: BURNING MANDELLA!!"
Mars did that attack with this twist: She made the circles fly
out vertical, and they're aimed between Ryan's legs. They pass
through harmlessly and merely roll down the street to where-ever
in their mad crusade to have Raye Hino committed as a pyromaniac,
yet by the voice of Ryan's next words, the point has been made.
Ryan: <Voice helium high> "Touche."
And Ryan gets promptly knocked out of play by an errant Crescent
Beam. Venus has it bounced off Katlin as Venus, Jupiter, and
Moon team up against the female Trooper, who had split off into
two with her Double Team Command.
Moon: "How can you say that *we* took out the Power Rangers? As
if! We never even *met* the Power Rangers, and even if we did,
we're on the same side." She gets her rabbit ears yanked by
Katlin #2. "OWWWWWW!!!! DAMMIT!! Didn't I said that no one
messes with my hair?! MOON SCEPTER ELIMINATION!!"
Katlin #2 gets reduced to an endoskeleton, to the shock of the
present ladies! Without missing a beat Mercury begins to scan
with her visor.
Katlin #2: "bzzzzzkereeeet--Final Report to Grimlord: Evil
Katlin terminally damaged; Success Rate of Zitkor's propaganda
reduced to 20%. Initiate Robo-Self-Destruct--"
The explosion was felt for two blocks, catching FoxFire, Tuxedo
Mask, and JD by suprise.
JD: "OW! What the?"
T Mask: "Drat! Just when we are about to set him straight on a
lot of things!"
FoxFire: "Yeah, most of it mine! The thought that the Klan
still marks me up as one of their Martyrs! I think I'm gonna
T Mask: "Anything to support a political agenda, huh, my
JD: "So you're really not a racist?"
FoxFire walks off: "I'm not going to answer that question. Not
now. Not ever."
JD sighs, then does the Retro-Form command. "I guess Mr.
Gonterman was right about him."
T Mask: "Who?"
JD: "Oh, someone I met over in St. Louis. He said that what
happened to him with that History Teacher will be smeared by
racist groups to spread their hate. I've seen it happen on both
races, white and black. I sure feel sorry for Crockett."
T Mask: "Well, don't. FoxFire has a better life here as one of
the Scouts. He might be the edge we need in our fight here. Now
if I can just get him off of Sailor Moon."
The two had to laugh as they walked out together, a unspoken
My apologies on taking so long for this installment. I had a
good temporary job between college semesters, and despite me
spitting out 2-3 Fanficts during that time, they did put a crimp
on things. Besides, when I did return to college, I had two
incidences of good fortune visit me:
One is being accepted to man the Toon Talk Libraries over at
America On-Line. To date, I haven't got the chance to get
started; there's I's to dot and t's to cross, but eventually I
will be ensuring that a constant stream of Fanficts and Fan Art
going on my Online Service of choice. I might even bring the
archives to the Internet, you'll never know about me :)
Like the second tidbit. This one is *HOT* because I've been
keeping it a secret for a while. It's a school project that I'm
doing with the permission with the Save Our Sailors Team at
The Sailor Moon USA Comic Book!!
It'll be a totally different from SMAK in many ways: Instead of
FoxFire, *I'll* be teaming up with the Rabbit; at least my
personal Firestorm character--er, before Firestorm, that is, heh-
heh. Most of the politics will be thankfully removed, leaving a
spot to appeal for the return of the US Cartoon. They'll be
plenty of room for them to add on their stuff.
Hopefully I'll be able to print them out and offer them over mail
order, if all goes well. I'm thinking of making it a fundraiser
for the SOS Team, as well as getting good experience in creating
Comic Books. What do you think? You know where to reach me.